covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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