i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
