Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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