Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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