I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
