We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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