if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
