Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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