what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
