Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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