i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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