We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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