My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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