"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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