the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
