there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
