gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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