I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize