Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
