she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just invented taco cereal.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
