You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
