Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
