How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Randomize
