Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
