At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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