I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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