I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
