Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
