You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
