i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You can't motorboat a personality
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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