she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
