break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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