i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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