well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
