So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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