hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
