First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
