Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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