just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
