What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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