So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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