Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
