I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
