It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
