is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
