she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Vodka?
Forever.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
