I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
