So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
