Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Randomize
