The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm too high and old for this...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
